I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
