Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
