Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize