Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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