I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
you never un-have a 4some
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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