Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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