I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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