I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
