Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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