YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
