Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
