Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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