Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
