bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
why do cheetos always look like penises
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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