Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Randomize
