You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
