respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Come back. Shots need mouths.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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