I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
