yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
