Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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