oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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