she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
