Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
