id be glad to
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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