how can u be prego again
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
