Your mouth is God's brothel.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
