Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
