quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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