im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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