Is it normal to miss your booty call?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
