Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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