u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize