matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
