Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
