The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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