Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
