Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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