I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
