Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
