Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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