butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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