More tranny stories later!
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize