the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
