with your own penis?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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