Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
