And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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