hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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