News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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