Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You're like the curious george of whores
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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