He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
