Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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