So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
he shaved USA in his pubs
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
