He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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