Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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