I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Randomize
