She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
