you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
