I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
What a dumb baby whore.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
