I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize