Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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