I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
