She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize
