you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize