I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
