Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
