We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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