i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
My ATM looks so different sober.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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