drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
