Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize