I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize