there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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