Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
