She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize