I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
